Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just want to make out with him forever
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
