don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
