P.S. I can't hear my feet
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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