Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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