this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
