Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
