Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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