lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
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He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
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I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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