hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
