so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
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Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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