so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
