I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
