Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize