You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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