I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
