It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
