i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
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Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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