Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
