man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
