you would pick up someone in the library
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
