so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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