New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
