And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
