Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
