ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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