Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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