Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
