You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
