I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
