dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
