Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
