I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
