since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
pop tarts are not kleenex
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
