Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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