I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Congratulations! We have a period
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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