No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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