I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
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The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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