I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
