those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
