we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
