I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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