you guys were way drunker than both of me
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
