never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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