Someone shit on the floor
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
