Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
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she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
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Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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