I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
