This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
