so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
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