i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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