I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Bring me that man meat
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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