Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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