Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
