I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize