Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
