I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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