I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize