So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
