i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
