you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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