I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
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My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
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