i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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