Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
