Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize