shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
