so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I need moral support for this bender
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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